More Confetti; We are all Masochistic!; Reviews Galore

Happy birthday, sis! All the best in your studies and future endeavours - including in finding a bf. =)

Can expect even more confetti next week. LOL. And my bleeding wallet isn't happy.

Anw I have been pretty free this past week - those who know will know why - so I managed to catch "No Country For Old Men", and "The Spiderwick Chronicles" (erm not my choice). Add to that "黄城 "(erm not my choice again) last week and "The Kite Runner" two weeks ago.

Hmm not too shabby, but I'm missing "There Will Be Blood" and "Juno"(!!), which I still really want to watch. I've kind of given up on the rest. And people have been recommending this and that movie but I don't think I have that much time and $$ to catch them all so yeah. More movie dates, anyone?

黄城夜韵
Nostalgia, man. My first time watching 黄城 was in J1, to support aj. Missed J2 (coz of blocks and they say it sucked), and then went in J3. J4... I was probably stuck in the jungles so yeah. And now J5! It's always great seeing the 黄城 people putting in so much blood, sweat and tears for the production, and reaping the rewards - the experience, the friends - at the end of it.

I always ask myself if I'd have joined 黄城 if given another chance. I dislike impossible hypothetical questions, because there's really no point, but indulge me for a moment. I seriously think I'd have, because I've always wanted to be part of something big - like a performance, or a team competition. Like SYF as well, which I, too, regret not being part of.

But maybe because I've only seen the end result, the glorious moments, and not fully grasped the sacrifices they entail. As they say, 台上一分钟，台下十年功. ATEC comes real close, I guess, and the satisfaction of having completed it was immense, especially after all that we went through. It definitely wouldn't have been the same had it been just a walk in the park.

So there, we're all masochistic in some way because we find joy in challenges. We make life difficult for ourselves (or life make it difficult for us), and celebrate when we live to tell the tale.

Ok back to the drama itself. The entire production felt very amateurish, which is to be expected of a predominantly student production. But what disappointed most were the scripts.

The first play is your typical "try-to-be-cheem" melodrama but the actors failed terribly trying to pull it off. Can only say 历练不够 bah. Zebra was dismayed by the quality of the props as well.

The second was slightly better. The script actually held a lot of promise with the interesting premise - all the characters actually had a part in causing the death of the twin of one of the girls, and the sinister stories unravel when they find themselves trapped in a haunted house. They succeeded in creating the ominous atmosphere but alas, the twist that everyone was looking for didn't materialise - just as the ghosts didn't - and they settled on an less-than-satisfying abstract ending after copious moralising.

The third was, by consensus, the best of the lot. As are most comedies, it was relatively easier to digest, but managed to strike a chord with the audience with its straightforward presentation, laudable acting and a pertinent theme.

The Kite Runner and No Country For Old Men
Both book adaptations share breathtaking cinematography and rousing scores but the latter demonstrates, by far, greater competence in scripting, acting and direction.

Which is only to be expected, as "No Country for Old Men" swept four oscars for best picture, directing, adapted screenplay and supporting actor while "The Kite Runner" garnered only average reviews.

It has the perfect mixture of suspense, humor, and compelling performances. "Another triumph for the Coen Brothers, No Country has the perfect mixture of suspense, humor, and desperately compelling performances. The seemingly simple story hides a more complex narrative, and high tension is maintained throughout." - RT consensus

But whereas "Kite" is buoyed by the commercial sensibilities of Khaled Hosseni's debut novel, "No Country" feeds off Ian McEwan's dark morality tale. So I guess "No Country" is not for everyone unless you are satisfied with the seemingly simple story, but "Kite" should be palatable to those who've read and loved the book, though it is nowhere near as poignant or touching.

The Spiderwick Chronicles
"A decent entertainment -- not up there with the 'Harry Potter' and 'Lord of the Rings' sagas, but a notch above 'The Golden Compass' and 'Narnia'." -Time

So there, another fantasy picture cum CGI fest. Nicely done, but boasts nothing we haven't seen before. Rather like "Bridge to Terabithia" in look and feel, but expect more action and humour thrown in for good measure.

Chapter Two: 051107

ORD loh!!!

The day has come, finally! I’ve regained my civilian status, and henceforth, I shall be addressed as Mr. and not by rank or vocation. It's an immense relief to be "free" again, and like most NSFs, I've spent close to 2 years looking forward to this day. The exhilaration of getting back your pink IC is indescribable, and only those who've been through it will understand what I'm feeling now.

It is all the more momentous because my NS journey hadn't been easy. In fact, right from the start, I knew I wasn't cut out to be a soldier (just like some of us know we have zilch musical talent). Unfortunately, there’s no quitting so you just have to grit your teeth and push on. I ain't about to recount all the rough patches I've been through, but it's safe to say I didn't get the cushiest of appointments/postings.

It really wasn't easy coping with the haplessness, and at times helplessness, especially when you’re painfully cognizant that most of your peers are getting off much more easily. The only thing that got me through it is possibly the conviction that I will not be a person who gives up without a fight whenever the going gets tough.

There were points when I really felt like taking the easy way out, especially when I looked at those who have. But then I looked at those around me who were still persevering, and told myself I will not let them and myself down. Knowing that I had an exciting future ahead of me was also a source of motivation, because I could console myself that I am more fortunate than most, and the ordeal was only temporary – you could even count down to it.

And only now do I understand why people say you'd remember most fondly the toughest times during NS. It's not so much because the suffering in itself is unforgettable, but because you pulled through, bonded with your chiong-sua mates, and every little happy moment is amplified and etched in the collective consciousness known as 'camaraderie'. This cannot be achieved when all you do is slack in bunk or the office every day.

However, deep down, I know that I have not altered my attitude towards NS, and I stand by my belief it has not changed me "internally" - at least not in a positive way. To put it more aptly in mandarin, 我的内在并没有因为兵役而起了实质的改变。A check with my family and long-time friends should confirm that. I have matured, for sure, but only because I've aged. And for the record, I've never felt less of a boy, or more of a man because of NS. The only thing I cannot deny is that NS has changed my life (delayed my tertiary education by 2 years, for instance), for better or worse.

In retrospect, the tough experience might not have been entirely bad, because I have been too sheltered all my life, and it's about time I fell and learnt to pick myself up. It was incredibly humbling, to say the least, and it has helped me recognise a part of my character that I never knew existed.

Whatever the case, I will cherish my NS memories and the friends I've made during my NS days. We are so used to seeing one another every day (24/5) that it can get pretty mundane or sickening. But I think I will come miss them and their antics during this "withdrawal period".

And in conjunction with this milestone, I have given my blog a facelift (as alluded to previously). I’m starting a new chapter over here (both figuratively and literally). It's still green, but there's now a theme, and I've added some new stuff. You can listen to enchanting elf music, watch the (hobble-)goggle box, gossip at the Prancing Pony, dig some dirt at the Mines of Moria, and help me find the list of wanted orcs. It took quite a bit of effort, but I think the new look is pretty neat! =)

Drink Drank Drunk

I wasn't looking forward to ORD function at all, but it probably helped that I went with such low expectations. The 8-course Chinese dinner was surprisingly decent, though the portions were meagre (esp. by cookhouse standards =P) for ten hungry NSFs. The programme was rather mundane and bordering on sleazy at some points, but it's all in good fun.

It should have been about the people anw, an opportunity to gather in an "extra-military" setting to celebrate the joyous return to civilian-hood. BUT they (or he) had the decency to put three of us with our dearest Jaguar mates. It's like sitting at prom with another class in another faculty, 10 tables from your own class. How thoughtful.

What's interesting is that there seemed to be diverse interpretations of the "smart casual" dress code. Whereas blazer/cardigan and pants were the standard for prom, you can find, on this occasion, people in blazer and tie sitting alongside those in t-shirt and jeans. I figured some didn't make the effort since there weren't girls to impress, and I basically threw together some of the stuff in my wardrobe and rushed down to the venue (thinking that I was late... when the dinner started at 7.30pm), hoping I wouldn't look out of place. I didn't even grab my camera, which is a pity, even though I'm no cam whore. *ducks*

Surprisingly, there was free flow of red wine, and despite knowing I can't hold my liqour, I wasn't about to be seen as a teetotaler. True enough, my face went red after a few sips, and my head began to feel heavy after I downed the glass. I was drinking a lot of tea and 7-up as well to dilute the alcohol, determined not to become drunk like the gentleman by my side, who might have overestimated his liver's abilities and ended up becoming a laughing stock.

It's in the genes, really - the guys in my family are all such terrible drinkers. I think I need to "condition" my liver by drinking more or I'll become socially inept when I go overseas, where drinking is very much part of the culture. I should take aj up on his offer to visit pubs/clubs more often. And somehow get laid while in a drunken stupor, like they always do on TV and film. =)

The ORD countdown reads 14+ days. Pretty promising, except next week is a 6-day week for me. And the usual people to thank for that.

The Skeptic in All (Most) of Us

There is a skeptic in all (or should I say most) of us.

I was expecting "chaogeng" allegations when I went back with my bandaged ankle and limp this week. And sure enough, I encountered the first skeptics even before I signed the BIBO book. -_-" Not surprising at all, considering the number of status personnel with suspect ailments.

Having seen the "stunts" in my platoon, I am a great skeptic myself, so I understand the mentality, and wasn't too bothered. But I must still thank jon and HA for being ever so trusting and understanding amidst all the cynicism. And OC for his implicit trust by excusing me from the shoot without even my asking. After chionging together for so long, he ought to see (I hope) that if I had wanted to chaogeng, I would have done it long ago like the rest - when it was 100x more xiong - and not waited until a few weeks before ORD.

That this logic seems to have escaped most of the rest, including my PS, is saddening, as it meant that after all I've done to prove myself as one not to take the easy way out, my credibility and integrity remains questionable in their minds. If this one incident has managed to tarnish my (perhaps self-perceived) hard-earned reputation, then I can only say I can never be worthy of their trust. But I've learnt not to take it too hard, as I know true friends will believe, and those that do not are probably not genuine pals to begin with.

And back to the topic of the skeptic in most of us. You probably had these cynical moments:

• "That pretty young thing must have married that old man for his money!"
• "He must be making that public donation because he is a media whore and wants the whole world to know about his philanthropic heart of gold!"
• "She probably got to where she is by sleeping with the boss!"
• "He probably got to where he is because of his father/mother/connections!"
  
• "That woman probably got her driving licence by wearing a short skirt for her driving test!"
• "He must be doing that to suck up to his superiors!"
• "He is being so nice because he needs a favour/is guilty of something/has something up his sleeves!"

New iPod(s)

It's Comex weekend but those intending to get iPods should definitely wait. Apple is gonna announce the release of new iPod(s) (6th Gen HDD, 3rd Gen Nano, or something new?) on 5 September. Might be time for me to upgrade. Let's see what Apple has up their sleeves first.

Anyway next week is gonna be really hectic, with COC parade rehearsals from Mon to Wed, the actual parade on Wed, and combat shoot on Fri, which means a Sat book-out. Excellent planning, as usual. Probably won't be able to clear off at all, since Thursday will be reserved for combat shoot briefing and preparation. By right I should be excused from the parade lah, since I can't even polish my boots. Bleh.

But after combat shoot there shouldn't be any other major event (except for a rumoured third combat shoot, and major s**t in October), so there's only lots of PT and SOC left to look forward to. Then it's ORD loh!!!

Sleep

I used to be able to survive on 4-5 hours of sleep every night back in secondary school during the exam period, due in large part to my last-minute-mugging tendencies. But I guess I'm getting old. For some reason, I could never do the same in JC anymore. Now whenever I don't get enough sleep, I'll suffer an acne outbreak and a lingering headache.

Lately I haven't been able to sleep much during weekends because of my busy schedule. And thanks to AHM saigang today, I didn't get to sleep through the night yesterday. To my utter dismay, the person in the mirror today looked terrible. I finally realise why some people say they need their beauty sleep...

I usually try to repay my sleep debt in camp, since it's the lull period and there's lots of down time. But for some reason, I just can't sleep in the day when I'm in camp, no matter how tired I am. Daytime camp insomnia, sianz. And we don't get much sleep at night because we have to wake up at 5.30am... Even when ORD is in less than 3 months' time.

Speaking of which, it doesn't seem like we're gonna ord so soon if not for the lack of outfields. We're still being treated like first-year soldiers: besides having to wake up so early every morning, we have to go for breakfast, march to and from the cookhouse, fall in every night for RO, book in on Sunday night, book out late on Fridays (because for some reason, events e.g. combat shoot, are always scheduled on Friday when most of the rest of the week is spent in bunk), and now there's even suggestion of having 5BX in the morning.

We are also not allowed to have TVs in our bunks (to encourage bonding in the mess, which has a non-functional TV...), not allowed to go to the canteen unless given permission (even after working hours), not given MC to rest at home but confinement in the sick bay when we get fever. And the list of privileges that many other units/camps take for granted but we are deprived of goes on.

And more recently, deliberate planning and scheduling has made it impossible for us to clear our off in blocks, so we have to resort to clearing off in the middle of the week, and in 1.5-day stretches at the most, "like bird droppings - a little here and and a little there", as my platoon mates put it. When every other ORD-imminent personnel has the liberty to clear long weekends and practically entire weeks if they want to. Sigh.

Some people just have no empathy. With all the bad karma and ill will they have accumulated, I shouldn't be the one having insomnia.

Block Leave Musings 3: NS for Girls?

There isn't much to muse about these days. It's not that life's a bore, but I don't ponder too much about life and philosophy. I'm so totally left-brained. Which would make me a good engineer, I hope.

Anyway I'm really enjoying civilian life, and in the comforts of home, can't help thinking girls should be sent for NS as well. They won't have to chiong sua, don't worry. Just let them experience the regimentation, the enforced discipline, the yucky food and everything and I bet they will grow up "from girls to women". Which is a great thing, isn't it, as they always seem to like to say how much they think the guys (their sons, brothers, boyfriends, friends) have grown and matured after NS.

For one, my sister would certainly benefit. Just because we're reasonably well-to-do, she takes things for granted, can't be bothered to help with chores, and thinks she deserves better when life has been so inifinitely kind, in so many ways. I have no right to criticise her, of course, because I was and probably still am like that. And I think lots of girls are just as spoilt. But the thing is, NS does open your eyes to a lot of things.

Some people have gone through enough hardships, some are mature enough to reflect on their own, but others might just need a little bit of help to be jolted out of their comfort zones and idealistic mindset. NS will certainly tell you "life can be such a total bitch", if you need telling, that is.

And I can't help sensing that a lot of girls think it's the guys' duty to serve NS, and it's no big deal that we are wasting (in the individual sense) two years of our time letting our brain rot away. A bit sympathetic, maybe, a bit "heng ah, we don't need to serve", but I don't think guilt, or an acute sense of injustice comes into play. The "spectator mentality", as I see it. Just like guys will think it's no big deal for their female counterparts to have their career advancement impeded by pregnancy - "it's ok lah, they need to give birth what, family more important, after baby born come back still can work".

But as we endeavour to do away with discrimination in the workplace, and in all other aspects of society to achieve true gender equality, military conscription seems to have escaped scrutiny. Guys probably think that girls are too weak, and the girls are probably happy not to contest this "myth" for once, and to discard the "chauvinist" word as well, as it works in their favour.

But the point is, physical strength is not a prerequisite for NS. If medically unfit guys can spare two years of their time to serve as clerks or in other support vocations, so can the girls. And girls in Israel serve NS as well, sometimes even in combat (i.e. chiong-sua) vocations!

The day the so-called feminists are willing to stand up and proclaim that all women should serve NS is the day I will respect them as true feminists. In the meantime, I will try to overlook this hypocrisy, and fully support their cause for women to be given an equal footing in society, as I believe they surely deserve.

(un)Block Leave

Finally, it's block leave for the next 2 weeks! After the monstrosity that was A T E C and pre/post-prep, the bn merrily decided to let three coys clear off, leaving us to do A C C T in camp. A C C T wasn't particularly siong, and it can be quite fun slamming people and getting slammed. But add 3 more PT/SOC sessions per week and the fatigue and muscle aches start to set in. I'm so glad it's over!

And typical of excellent planning (esp. pertaining to 'K'):

1. We have been forced to clear leave even though we are not allowed to go overseas during this period. Which means my holiday plans will have to be shelved till after ORD, when it's winter everywhere I want to go, and the school holidays peak season inflates prices.
2. My block leave is effectively "unblocked" because I have to go back to camp twice in the first week. And there's always the possibility of last minute guard duties and other "oversights".
3. I foresee problems with clearing off in October due to an important, month-long tasking for which our OC "volunteered". Not to mention all the saigang and duties, when everyone else is clearing off, slacking off, and preparing to ORD.
   

Sigh. If only I had the courage (and background) of a certain 2LT to fire off an email to the minister and all the big shots. What 2LT Li unveiled is only the tip of the iceberg. If you ask me, there are far more skeletons in the cupboard, and this particular one probably wouldn't have come to light if not for the status of 2LT Li, and the need for damage control (since the contents of the email had leaked into the public domain). It's all an exercise in PR, lah.

So enough of whining already. It's time for a well-deserved break, although the timing really is abit "off". Everyone else is stuck in camp, or starting school, so basically there's no one to date except coy mates. Bravo! As if I have not seen enough of them... For now, it's just driving lessons, eating, sleeping, movies, and aimless wandering. Oh yes, and sodagreen's concert next week.

I want to go overseas!!!

Procrastination

And I thought only students procrastinate. We are literally going to war in a few days' time, but today we were still struggling to put everything together. Of course there were some "unforseen circumstances", but shouldn't we have prepared for all contingencies and made plans for anticipated delays?

Actually, it's not that surprising. It's not the first time anyway. "Why always so last minute one?" is the perpetual question. Like last minute weekend guard duties that manifest all of a sudden on Fridays, or saigang just before book-out when the rest of the day had been spent "ironing bedsheets".

So today, I found myself in a frenzy of weapon boresighting, drawing and issuing of equipment, functionality checks and troubleshooting, map-work, paper-work, and briefings so typical of the hectic signaller lifestyle just before any major outfield. The pathetic thing is, I spent most of yesterday reading "Blink" by Malcolm Gladwell.

On another note, I'm actually quite exasperated that we did not get the "Best Armour Unit" award despite all the shit we've done on behalf of armour in the past year. What with NDP, EX BZ (featured in the media somemore), delta live-firing, EX Maju Bersama, army museum filming, and being the only ABG on standby, first BX2 Bn, yada yada. But then again, fairness and an adequate appraisal system were never hallmarks of this organisation, were they?

And finally, some food for thought. I was pretty much thinking what the Arctic Monkeys were thinking until I read the last few paragraphs. Still, why go to all that trouble when "global warming" is staring us in the face every day, be it on TV, online, in movies, or in the papers? Or if that isn't enough, the ever-warmer sunny days we are experiencing. The concert is just so... extravagant, and redundant.

But I think I'm still gonna watch it anyway.

Almost There

Full-troop exercise (F T X) this week. 3D2N outfield involving the entire battalion, prelude to A T E C 2. The usual stuff, trekking around with an almost 20kg load on my <60kg frame. But compared to the 6-hour bashing expedition the last time (F T X 1), this is "small case" already.

The most outrageous thing was that 6 of my platoon mates ATT C (on MC, for the uninitiated), so my vehicle was left with 6 people instead of the usual 10. Which wasn't a bad thing afterall, since we had considerably more space to manoeuvre.

I suffered a bout of claustrophobia during F T X 1, and it wasn't a great feeling. I was on the verge of hyperventilation, and desperate to escape the confined space that was the "signaller seat" - less than 1 square metre in area, minimal leg room, and barely enough room when I'm in with my SBO. Imagine being cooped in that place for more than 10 hours, with no ventilation, and a heat-emanating signal set right by your side. I swear I would have preferred dismounting to remaining in that hell of a place.

Anyway a lot of people (including commanders who are drawing a bigger allowance, and expected to have more integrity) missed this outfield because of ATT C or status. Again, in the middle of all that shit, I was wondering if it's worth slogging so hard when there's really no incentive - in fact, only disincentives - to do so. All that I got from this outfield were "shag-ness", more pimples and mosquito bites. And maybe a few "thank you"s from CO and OC, and a Monday book-in. Yet again, I told myself that this was the last outfield before A T E C, and endured.

My platoon mates who ATT C think we (those who went) are stupid, and I was asking myself whether I really am, and why I went. Eventually, I realised I still feel a sense of duty despite all the negativity I feel. I just can't bring myself to neglect my responsibilites and sit at home pretending to be sick. At the end of the day, I also have a responsibility to the rest whom I care enough not to disappoint. Besides, unlike the AI, someone would have had to take my place had I absented myself, and I wouldn't want that, having been a victim of other people's chaogeng behaviour before. Bad karma lah.

So, F T X 2 is history, and we're facing the final hurdle. A T E C is definitely going to be tougher, but I really hope everyone can wake up their idea. We've trained and fought together for so long, just for this test. Even if we don't give a damn about the results and those to whom it really matters (i.e. those regulars whose promotion and bonus hinges on the outcome), we owe it to ourselves and all our brothers-in-arms to at least turn up and do what we can to not let all that hard work go down the drain.

Incentive

You'd quickly understand why a socialist system wouldn't work as an NSF. Simply because there's no incentive to work in such a system. Whether you chaogeng all the way, or slog till you drop, you get (almost) the same pay, which is determined based on your rank, rather than the amount of work you do.

We are all pragmatic people - most of us are, anyway. So what happens when you see people chaogeng but end up getting the same remuneration as you? Worse still, you sometimes have to cover their s**t for them because they are "unfit" to carry out their duties? You naturally feel that you have been shortchanged, and end up losing the motivation to work, your morale sinks, and sooner or later, you ask yourself whether it's worth working so hard for... nothing.

That's precisely what's happening a lot in this organisation. Simply put, there is no incentive to work here. There are so many people on some kind of long-term status (some genuine, but mostly not, I suspect), or who have downgraded, it's as if the "chaogeng virus" has become an epidemic. And ironically, it's the "healthy" people who suffers.

Take the coy line signallers for example. Excluding S coy, there are 9 of us, and 1 has downgraded, 1 is pending downgrade, 5 are on some sort of status (mostly back and knee problems), which leaves 2 fighting fit. I am one of these 2. But it's not as if I haven't thought about getting a status or downgrading, after seeing the cushy life my counterparts are living. No PT, no SOC, no IPPT, no chionging with the manpack on 4D3N outfields.

It's really difficult to stay positive and overlook the amount of extra work you are doing while getting no additional incentive. But I guess since I have already endured for so long, and there's only 2 months left till end of ATEC, I might as well finish this and leave NS with my head held high, knowing that I did not choose the easy way out.

That's not to say I am a saint. As and when it's possible, I try to evade any arrows sent in my direction, and try to get away with doing the minimum that is expected of me (which is still a lot, btw). At the end of the day, as long as I have fulfilled my own duties and obligations, and not inconvenienced others by shirking my personal responsibilities, I think I can give myself a pat on the shoulder. That's my interpretation of "integrity".

=(

Not a great week.

Promotion got postponed again. 2 full months! After n disappointments. Loss of income: >$100.

One of the platoon runners down again. Reported sick on Wednesday to prevent "complications". Got pierced by 4 syringes before the medics got the IV drip right. Plus an injection. That's 5 needles. OMG. I think my "needle-phobia" is gone.

Received news that our JC1 Chem relief tutor had passed away. So sudden. Shocking. Suicide, apparently. The second acquaintance to go down that path, and it affected me for a while. It's hard to believe they're gone, because the memories I have of them are those of them smiling, talking to me.

"Late" book-out yesterday. We had nothing to do after lunch, but they just had to hold us back, conduct a standby, then make us have dinner, before letting us go after 7pm. Couldn't even attend Miss Wee's wake because of the late bookout.

Most other coys had the sense not to indent dinner and allow an early book-out. But welfare was never synonymous with 'K'. It irked me, to have to while away time stoning in bunk, seeing other coys book out. For FIVE full hours. To them, our time is probably worthless (we're paid the same whether we book out early or late anw).

And it's not just this once. This happens ALL the time. And they just add up, causing resentment, disillusionment and low morale. No prizes for guessing which is the most underperforming coy, with the most people on status, ATT C and chaogeng mentality.

I'm tired.

Farewell, old dame!

This past week has been pretty eventful.

After 4 days of outfield, numerous mosquito bites, and a golden (or rather, brown) tan, I think I've become more accustomed to the wilderness.

Well, having been through the crap (a grave understatement, I assure you) on Tuesday on behalf of someone who decided to chaogeng, in a position I am not trained and hence ill-prepared for, you'd think it can't get very much worse henceforth. As if. Next week is another 4-day outfield week, and there are lots more coming up.

I wonder how much longer I can hold out if they continue to subject me to such "generous" treatment. My back has already begun to ache from those n-hour manpack expeditions. And the other two signallers are already down; almost 1/3 of the coy is on some status, and more people are flocking to get ATT C on Mondays. But it appears it still hasn't dawned on them that there is a problem somewhere...

Anyway it was Zejia's birthday yesterday. Happy Birthday, Bro!!!

Had fun at the sing-along session at the National Stadium, you can read more about it on Zejia's blog. What a way to pay tribute to the Grand Old Dame, and bid her a fond farewell.

Not too long ago, we were slogging away building the grand stands for NDP, then marshalling, and finally witnessing the grand finale on National Day. But by National Day this year, she would be no more. Sad sia. Took quite a few pictures for keepsake.

Just a random thought. Singapore is realy small! Saw another signaller and his gf, as well as the PL5 people yesterday. It's almost impossible not to bump into someone familiar when you are along Orchard Road, or the City Hall-Suntec-Marina Square stretch. How pathetic right, like there's nowhere else to go. Which is partly the reason I want to go overseas for my studies. We all need to leave behind the well to embrace the skies, someday.

The track-by-track review of Stef's new album should be up by next week. It's a FANTABULOUS album! Zzyo has a nice review on his blog, so much better than the one in zaobao... He should start writing 乐评 for them lor.

Outfield

Had a 3D2N outfield this week, after relaxing for most of the past month. I guess I've lost touch with the feeling of being covered with grime, sweat, camou, and lugging the signal set around, because I felt really terrible.

At the end of the 3 days, we were supposed to bash our way back to camp (3km) but the sergeants who were leading us 'horlan'-ed (lost the way) and it eventually took 4 hours (6.30pm - 10.30pm) of trekking before we finally arrived. It was dark most of the way, but we stumbled (I mean it in the most literal sense coz I tripped n times) along, up hills and down slopes, through muddy and wet terrain, and all the while, I was carrying roughly 16kg (>25% of my weight, or rather, mass) of load. My shoulders and back ached, my breathing got heavier, but seldom did we stop to rest because we (or rather, the ones who weren't as exhausted coz they were carrying much lighter loads) wanted to reach camp asap. I didn't even have dinner because we were supposed to have it back in camp, but hunger cannot compare with the fatigue and frustration of getting lost in the vast wilderness.

The thought of "is this worth it?" crossed my mind for the umpteenth time. While many others are having a (relatively) cushy NS life, here I am, getting the same (or slightly more, or even less) pay, but doing so much more.

Then there are those who are excused from all the shit because they suffer from various (often self-proclaimed) ailments - the easiest way out. It's no surprise that an increasing (and alarming) number of people are trodding down that path, getting downgraded and all. Who's to blame? Wouldn't you want to do likewise when you see your fellow "comrades" sleeping in the bunk while you sweat it all out for nothing in return except for more taskings and reproval?

Enough groaning already, yes, I should learn to grow up, thank you. Anyway most of that negativity disappeared when I got back to camp, showered, and devoured a bowl of piping hot noodles at almost 2am after settling all the signal stores and cleaning arms. Pure bliss, that, I tell you, and the comfort of a bed with bedsheets that haven't been changed for 2 weeks.

That negativity would probably surface again when I next go outfield but for now, I am holding out, body aching and all. I know nothing is fair in this world, and I have been far more fortunate than most, so who am I to complain? Now if only the pimples that erupted all over my face after this icky outfield would disappear and I would be a happy man. =P

People

This has been a good week, except for a minor glitch yesterday.

It's really the people around me who made my week. It feels good to have a casual chat or just friendly banter with people who understand how you feel because they are basically in the same boat. Most of the sergeants are actually nice people, and given the fact that we share the same background (JC) and general mindset, it would have been natural to become friends if not for the hierarchical system that makes such relationships awkward and untenable.

Plus, I am back on course this week and most of next week! It's a pretty relac course, but the instructors and course material are a real bore. About the only thing that makes it worthwhile are the two teabreaks, which serve really good food. Argh, I am becoming fat, eating five meals a day, and with CNY coming up, all those CNY goodies.

Chatted with the other coy line signallers on course and there is a consensus that K coy is the worst - most (dumb) regulations and least welfare. I concede it's a blow, although this merely reaffirmed my suspicions. It's just difficult to accept that our lives are so drastically different when we are basically sleeping in adjacent and opposite blocks. It goes to show that it's not entirely the system, but more so the people (in this case the commanders) who decide how good/miserable life is for the men. And I just happen to have terrible luck.

Enough of mundane army stuff already. I have been too lazy to post reviews in recent weeks. Anyway I figured no one reads them. Bleh.

But there is an album I really want to recommend: Ayaka (絢香)'s First Message. Forget about "I believe", the song she composed that 石欣卉 ripped off. There's an abundance of other quality compositions in her debut album (15 tracks!), and she has a powerful and warm voice which does the material justice. For a 20-year-old, she really can sing! Her timbre and tone actually reminds me of Stef, which might explain why I took an instant liking to her when I heard her voice on the TV commercial. I am sure she will be the next Japanese diva to look out for.

Of Mosquitoes & MOs

Apart from beginning with 'm-o-s', these two have something else in common - they can both be very irksome.

Anybody who has been outfield would know that mosquitoes are a soldier's biggest enemies. They come in droves (esp. in the cover of night), bite you all over the body, limbs and worse still your face (pray not the eyelids and lips), then merrily make their escape as it is near impossible to smack them in the darkness. The acute and pervasive itch, as well as incessant buzzing at the back of your ears are enough to deprive even the most exhausted of much-needed sleep.

This has prompted me to ponder the ecological role of mosquitoes. If this role is merely redundant and at best a nuisance, why has no effort been made to exterminate them? I am sure not only humans, but many animals, esp. those without hands (imagine not being able to smack or scratch!), would be grateful as well. But of course, I know it's impossible, since they have been around since prehistoric times and if what killed the dinos couldn't kill them, there is nothing much we can do, except to "spam" (as my sergeant puts it) insect repellant.

Some MOs (medical officers) can be equally annoying. Actually, this applies to doctors in general when they see NSFs. They tend to have the preconception that we are just trying to chaogeng (malinger), and dismiss even genuine cases. It is extremely difficult to get MCs as an NSF unless you've got a fever, and some of them don't even attempt to conceal their discriminatory tone and attitude ("why didn't you report earlier? you look fine what, you sure you sick? ask your MO if you need MC"), as if NSFs deserve less care and attention. So much for giving two years of our lives to the nation.

This is probably not a revelation for most, as not so long ago, there was a big hoohah over an NSF who died of a flesh-eating virus which was not discovered earlier because the doctor (allegedly) dismissed him as a malingerer. I am not in the least surprised, and I am pretty sure many NSFs would have had similar experiences. I do concede that there are many rotten apples who "spoil the market", but this does not mean that ALL of us should be penalised and regarded as such without proper assessment.

Of course, there are still many good doctors around, and I respect them for their professionalism in regarding all patients as equals. For those who (blatantly) discriminate against NSFs, it just shows that they have failed to live up to their ethical pledge and professional obligations. Maybe they have forgotten that all NSFs become civilians one day and they should and will be sorry, because they can count on me to discount them as worthy doctors even when I regain my civilian status.

Signallers vs. AI Troopers

I think I did say before that signallers are quite slack. Now I must revoke that statement. At least for company line signallers, we can be more siong that AI troopers! The comparison will be quite generic in order not to divulge potentially sensitive info.

• The AI troopers bash with their weapons, we bash with signal set (>10kg) + weapon.
  
• They fight, we wait to be killed because we're vulnerable with the bulky signal set - hard to run, hide, prone and get up.
  
• Before outfield, we have to settle all the signal stores and make sure comms is up. After outfield, we have to settle all the signal stores. Troopers do help out with the OVM and stuff but there are so many of them working on their respective vehicles, and there are only the 3 of us working on the entire company's signal stores. We also have to help out with our vehicles!
  
• We have to clean arms like everyone else, and considering the strength of the HQ platoon and the number of weapons our platoon has to clean, we actually have more arms to clean per person.
• When there is no outfield, there is still signal store work to do every day. Most of the time we'll find the AI troopers "resting" in bunk while we are busy in the store, or doing admin work for our superiors.
  
• It's true they do more saigang but that's because HQ platoon is too small and fragmented (people of different vocations at different locations) to be relied on to do saigang. This does not mean we're immune from saigang. We did as much as everyone else during EX BZ...

Haiz, sad life lah.

Life Expectancy

I guess the life expectancy of guys in Singapore is lower than that of their female counterparts for a very simple reason (not the only one, of course) - NS.

How NS makes you die faster:

• All NS guys smoke, passive or otherwise. There is no escape, man.
  
• Physical exertion and injuries, self-inflicted (so as to downgrade) or otherwise.
  
• Extensive exposure to radio waves (radiation), esp. signallers.
  
• Cookhouse food - need I say more?
• S^3: Stress. Saigang. Sergeant majors.
• Seeing and sleeping with more guys than you ever will for the rest of your life. (equally disastrous for both heterosexual and homosexual males, I gather) =P
  

I'm definitely not scare-mongering, or being sensationalistic. These (barring the last two tongue-in-cheek points) are genuine concerns even though the effects are often overlooked since most of them are not immediately visible/detectable over the NS term. It scares me whenever I think about the amount of radiation I've been exposed to...

Kiwi and Eragon

This week has been pretty hectic, due to circumstances I am not allowed to reveal.

Incidentally, a sergeant has been subjected to SOL (stoppage of leave) for posting classified information on his blog. Apparently my blog had been monitored by mindef personnel as well, so you know how powderful our gahmen is already. I wouldn't be surprisef if they have set up an entire department just to monitor blogs and internet postings. Censorship? Paranoia? Big Brother mentality? I have no idea, but I believe most people should be sensible enough not to reveal information that will jeopardise national security.

Anyway, went to see the specialist at the National Skin Centre again yesterday and he (finally) recommended that I be excused from black shoe polish, aka Kiwi, to which I am allergic. I wonder what the MO would say when he sees the memo. Maybe I'll become the first person in the history of SAF to get the "excuse shoe polish" status eh!

Watched Eragon with the gang and it was decent but nothing spectacular. Most critics snubbed the movie for having a derivative plot, and being an unsuccessful LOTR/HP wanna-be. Whatever the case, I think the movie is still worth the price of a ticket if all you are after is brainless popcorn entertainment.

Seriously, I think the critics should give Christopher Paolini some credit since he was only 16 when he wrote the book. I reckon most of them are just jealous (jealousy never dies, innit) that despite his "inferior" literary capabilities, he's more famous, and set to earn much more than them through book sales and royalties from the movie. No doubt, his books should be judged on their literary merit, but I just feel they have been far too critical.

Back to the movie. In short, the plot has little depth, characterisation is poor, the score is uninspiring, and the acting is mediocre at best despite the casting of several thespians.

Jeremy Irons (as Brom) was the only one who delivered, though Ed Speleers (as Eragon) did put in an earnest performance considering that this is his debut, and Saphira (his dragon) was only CGI-ed in later. He's not extremely handsome, but his looks did grow on me after a while. Sienna Guillory (as Arya) is just eye candy, and it's shocking to realise that she's 31, more than a decade older than Speleers, who's 18. The others, like John Malkovich, are not even worth mentioning.

The saving grace might be the dragon thrill rides, and final battle sequence between Eragon and the shade, which are pretty well executed. Unfortunately, the siege scenes and most of the sets are awful in comparison to LOTR, or even Troy.

"Eragon" should do well enough in the box office to warrant the theatrical release of Eldest, the second book in Paolini's "Inheritance" Trilogy, given the weak competition in theatres this holiday season. However, I won't be looking forward to it as much as I did for the LOTR sequels, unless they find a more competent director and screenwriter.

Block Leave

This block leave is abit sianz coz people (like Zejia) are either having exams or still in camp so there's no one to date. I like my platoon and company mates but I think I've seen enough of them to ask them out.

Speaking of whom, we (the 3 signallers) have more or less integrated into the company, and the officers & mono intake guys are generally nice. My platoon mates are really a cool bunch, very helpful, and very hungry - they have an endless supply of cup/instant noodles and ba4 deng1 (meat cubes). LOL.

If there's one positive thing I take away from the army, it's my newfound respect for the ITE guys. Not that I despised them before, but interacting with them on a daily (24/5) basis has totally changed the myopic opinion I had of them before enlistment. Of course some of them I personally 不敢苟同, but I realised there are many others who are superior to myself in many ways.

The new specs are pretty ok lah. Our batch mates, so I find it easier to relate to them and they don't treat us like juniors (i.e. with condescension). But they are still abit green, and not accustomed to some of the practices which characterise second-year soldiers, so it can be a little frustrating. It bothers me a little that they have the "power" to order us around, but I guess 风水轮流转. My turn will come. Muahaha. No lah, just joking. Most of them are quite polite and I think they deserve respect coz they have been through so much training and suffering (Sispec, SLC, ROC) while I hadn't done SOC in like 6 months? But now my retribution has finally come and it's time to chiong after slacking for so long. Bleh.

Back to the topic of block leave, I have been to Orchard twice in the past 3 days. On Monday was to accompany my mum and sis to see the Christmas lightings and decorations which really aren't that spectacular. Dropped by again today to watch movie, have lunch, and visit Borders. I was dying to experience the "masterfully designed suede Oscar Chairs from Italian label Poltrona Fra" inside the PictureHouse at the Grand Cathay, so I opted to watch this French movie called "Days of Glory".

The much-hyped seats are pretty posh but not that comfortable. Then there is this "no food and drink" rule (presumably to preserve the expensive chairs in pristine condition...), and I could feel vibrations that apparently came from explosions (on screen) in the adjacent hall. Bleh.

The PictureHouse is supposed to be an "arthouse cinema" but I find that the movie isn't that art-y. In fact, it's quite mainstream (I understood the entire movie so there you go), war theme and all, just that it's in French (with English subtitles), and won the BEST ACTOR Award (Ensemble Cast) at the Cannes Film Festival 2006.

I'm abit lazy to post a review so I will just quote some critics.

"Days of Glory makes no departures from previous war films, but the tensions between the French commanders and the indigenous troops -- and the conflicts among themselves over how best to respond to provocations -- gives the film its dramatic punch." - Kirk Honeycutt from Hollywood Reporter

and

(Director) Bouchareb's WWII epic took more than a decade to make, but dealing with racism and injustice within the French army, is at once an impressive chronicle of a nearly-forgotten unit and a timely statement vis-a-vis the recent racial riots in France. -Emanuel Levy from EmanuelLevy.Com

I haven't watched many war-themed movies (such as "Band of Brothers" and "Saving Private Ryan" which are perennial army favourites cum propaganda) except maybe Pearl Harbour, so it was pretty poignant seeing people die in war, as well as the camaraderie. Overall a pretty moving movie, recommended since there aren't many other movies worth watching these couple of weeks.

More good movies in December - Death Note II, Borat, Eragon, etc.