Drink Drank Drunk

I wasn't looking forward to ORD function at all, but it probably helped that I went with such low expectations. The 8-course Chinese dinner was surprisingly decent, though the portions were meagre (esp. by cookhouse standards =P) for ten hungry NSFs. The programme was rather mundane and bordering on sleazy at some points, but it's all in good fun.

It should have been about the people anw, an opportunity to gather in an "extra-military" setting to celebrate the joyous return to civilian-hood. BUT they (or he) had the decency to put three of us with our dearest Jaguar mates. It's like sitting at prom with another class in another faculty, 10 tables from your own class. How thoughtful.

What's interesting is that there seemed to be diverse interpretations of the "smart casual" dress code. Whereas blazer/cardigan and pants were the standard for prom, you can find, on this occasion, people in blazer and tie sitting alongside those in t-shirt and jeans. I figured some didn't make the effort since there weren't girls to impress, and I basically threw together some of the stuff in my wardrobe and rushed down to the venue (thinking that I was late... when the dinner started at 7.30pm), hoping I wouldn't look out of place. I didn't even grab my camera, which is a pity, even though I'm no cam whore. *ducks*

Surprisingly, there was free flow of red wine, and despite knowing I can't hold my liqour, I wasn't about to be seen as a teetotaler. True enough, my face went red after a few sips, and my head began to feel heavy after I downed the glass. I was drinking a lot of tea and 7-up as well to dilute the alcohol, determined not to become drunk like the gentleman by my side, who might have overestimated his liver's abilities and ended up becoming a laughing stock.

It's in the genes, really - the guys in my family are all such terrible drinkers. I think I need to "condition" my liver by drinking more or I'll become socially inept when I go overseas, where drinking is very much part of the culture. I should take aj up on his offer to visit pubs/clubs more often. And somehow get laid while in a drunken stupor, like they always do on TV and film. =)

The ORD countdown reads 14+ days. Pretty promising, except next week is a 6-day week for me. And the usual people to thank for that.

The Skeptic in All (Most) of Us

There is a skeptic in all (or should I say most) of us.

I was expecting "chaogeng" allegations when I went back with my bandaged ankle and limp this week. And sure enough, I encountered the first skeptics even before I signed the BIBO book. -_-" Not surprising at all, considering the number of status personnel with suspect ailments.

Having seen the "stunts" in my platoon, I am a great skeptic myself, so I understand the mentality, and wasn't too bothered. But I must still thank jon and HA for being ever so trusting and understanding amidst all the cynicism. And OC for his implicit trust by excusing me from the shoot without even my asking. After chionging together for so long, he ought to see (I hope) that if I had wanted to chaogeng, I would have done it long ago like the rest - when it was 100x more xiong - and not waited until a few weeks before ORD.

That this logic seems to have escaped most of the rest, including my PS, is saddening, as it meant that after all I've done to prove myself as one not to take the easy way out, my credibility and integrity remains questionable in their minds. If this one incident has managed to tarnish my (perhaps self-perceived) hard-earned reputation, then I can only say I can never be worthy of their trust. But I've learnt not to take it too hard, as I know true friends will believe, and those that do not are probably not genuine pals to begin with.

And back to the topic of the skeptic in most of us. You probably had these cynical moments:

• "That pretty young thing must have married that old man for his money!"
• "He must be making that public donation because he is a media whore and wants the whole world to know about his philanthropic heart of gold!"
• "She probably got to where she is by sleeping with the boss!"
• "He probably got to where he is because of his father/mother/connections!"
  
• "That woman probably got her driving licence by wearing a short skirt for her driving test!"
• "He must be doing that to suck up to his superiors!"
• "He is being so nice because he needs a favour/is guilty of something/has something up his sleeves!"

Sleep

I used to be able to survive on 4-5 hours of sleep every night back in secondary school during the exam period, due in large part to my last-minute-mugging tendencies. But I guess I'm getting old. For some reason, I could never do the same in JC anymore. Now whenever I don't get enough sleep, I'll suffer an acne outbreak and a lingering headache.

Lately I haven't been able to sleep much during weekends because of my busy schedule. And thanks to AHM saigang today, I didn't get to sleep through the night yesterday. To my utter dismay, the person in the mirror today looked terrible. I finally realise why some people say they need their beauty sleep...

I usually try to repay my sleep debt in camp, since it's the lull period and there's lots of down time. But for some reason, I just can't sleep in the day when I'm in camp, no matter how tired I am. Daytime camp insomnia, sianz. And we don't get much sleep at night because we have to wake up at 5.30am... Even when ORD is in less than 3 months' time.

Speaking of which, it doesn't seem like we're gonna ord so soon if not for the lack of outfields. We're still being treated like first-year soldiers: besides having to wake up so early every morning, we have to go for breakfast, march to and from the cookhouse, fall in every night for RO, book in on Sunday night, book out late on Fridays (because for some reason, events e.g. combat shoot, are always scheduled on Friday when most of the rest of the week is spent in bunk), and now there's even suggestion of having 5BX in the morning.

We are also not allowed to have TVs in our bunks (to encourage bonding in the mess, which has a non-functional TV...), not allowed to go to the canteen unless given permission (even after working hours), not given MC to rest at home but confinement in the sick bay when we get fever. And the list of privileges that many other units/camps take for granted but we are deprived of goes on.

And more recently, deliberate planning and scheduling has made it impossible for us to clear our off in blocks, so we have to resort to clearing off in the middle of the week, and in 1.5-day stretches at the most, "like bird droppings - a little here and and a little there", as my platoon mates put it. When every other ORD-imminent personnel has the liberty to clear long weekends and practically entire weeks if they want to. Sigh.

Some people just have no empathy. With all the bad karma and ill will they have accumulated, I shouldn't be the one having insomnia.

(un)Block Leave

Finally, it's block leave for the next 2 weeks! After the monstrosity that was A T E C and pre/post-prep, the bn merrily decided to let three coys clear off, leaving us to do A C C T in camp. A C C T wasn't particularly siong, and it can be quite fun slamming people and getting slammed. But add 3 more PT/SOC sessions per week and the fatigue and muscle aches start to set in. I'm so glad it's over!

And typical of excellent planning (esp. pertaining to 'K'):

1. We have been forced to clear leave even though we are not allowed to go overseas during this period. Which means my holiday plans will have to be shelved till after ORD, when it's winter everywhere I want to go, and the school holidays peak season inflates prices.
2. My block leave is effectively "unblocked" because I have to go back to camp twice in the first week. And there's always the possibility of last minute guard duties and other "oversights".
3. I foresee problems with clearing off in October due to an important, month-long tasking for which our OC "volunteered". Not to mention all the saigang and duties, when everyone else is clearing off, slacking off, and preparing to ORD.
   

Sigh. If only I had the courage (and background) of a certain 2LT to fire off an email to the minister and all the big shots. What 2LT Li unveiled is only the tip of the iceberg. If you ask me, there are far more skeletons in the cupboard, and this particular one probably wouldn't have come to light if not for the status of 2LT Li, and the need for damage control (since the contents of the email had leaked into the public domain). It's all an exercise in PR, lah.

So enough of whining already. It's time for a well-deserved break, although the timing really is abit "off". Everyone else is stuck in camp, or starting school, so basically there's no one to date except coy mates. Bravo! As if I have not seen enough of them... For now, it's just driving lessons, eating, sleeping, movies, and aimless wandering. Oh yes, and sodagreen's concert next week.

I want to go overseas!!!

Bleh

Had my first driving lesson today. Didn't go well coz I just couldn't concentrate on so many things - switch gears, depress/release the clutch, brake and accelerator pedals to various degrees, steer, and look where I'm going- all at once.

Didn't help that my instructor kept sarcastically telling me "what's the point of me teaching you when you aren't even listening?" (as if I wasn't trying hard enough) and "if you can't even see where you're going, how do you expect me to teach you where to turn?". Sigh. It just got on my nerves and made me more error-prone.

I must admit I'm quite slow and have some psychomotor problems, but hello, it's my first lesson, and steering is not like walking or cycling - a large part of your visual field is blocked and you can't really see where your wheels are moving... And it isn't exactly easy to find and maintain the biting point on the clutch pedal, and not over-depress the accelerator pedal for a smooth move off. I have no idea how bad my problem is, but I was under the impression that these problems are pretty common among new learners, so I was all the more surprised that my instructor had such little patience.

The worse thing is, I'm stuck with this instructor (and another whom I've yet to meet) under this fixed group scheme for the rest of my lessons. I wonder how I'm ever going to pass... Hopefully the other one is better.

Procrastination

And I thought only students procrastinate. We are literally going to war in a few days' time, but today we were still struggling to put everything together. Of course there were some "unforseen circumstances", but shouldn't we have prepared for all contingencies and made plans for anticipated delays?

Actually, it's not that surprising. It's not the first time anyway. "Why always so last minute one?" is the perpetual question. Like last minute weekend guard duties that manifest all of a sudden on Fridays, or saigang just before book-out when the rest of the day had been spent "ironing bedsheets".

So today, I found myself in a frenzy of weapon boresighting, drawing and issuing of equipment, functionality checks and troubleshooting, map-work, paper-work, and briefings so typical of the hectic signaller lifestyle just before any major outfield. The pathetic thing is, I spent most of yesterday reading "Blink" by Malcolm Gladwell.

On another note, I'm actually quite exasperated that we did not get the "Best Armour Unit" award despite all the shit we've done on behalf of armour in the past year. What with NDP, EX BZ (featured in the media somemore), delta live-firing, EX Maju Bersama, army museum filming, and being the only ABG on standby, first BX2 Bn, yada yada. But then again, fairness and an adequate appraisal system were never hallmarks of this organisation, were they?

And finally, some food for thought. I was pretty much thinking what the Arctic Monkeys were thinking until I read the last few paragraphs. Still, why go to all that trouble when "global warming" is staring us in the face every day, be it on TV, online, in movies, or in the papers? Or if that isn't enough, the ever-warmer sunny days we are experiencing. The concert is just so... extravagant, and redundant.

But I think I'm still gonna watch it anyway.

=(

Not a great week.

Promotion got postponed again. 2 full months! After n disappointments. Loss of income: >$100.

One of the platoon runners down again. Reported sick on Wednesday to prevent "complications". Got pierced by 4 syringes before the medics got the IV drip right. Plus an injection. That's 5 needles. OMG. I think my "needle-phobia" is gone.

Received news that our JC1 Chem relief tutor had passed away. So sudden. Shocking. Suicide, apparently. The second acquaintance to go down that path, and it affected me for a while. It's hard to believe they're gone, because the memories I have of them are those of them smiling, talking to me.

"Late" book-out yesterday. We had nothing to do after lunch, but they just had to hold us back, conduct a standby, then make us have dinner, before letting us go after 7pm. Couldn't even attend Miss Wee's wake because of the late bookout.

Most other coys had the sense not to indent dinner and allow an early book-out. But welfare was never synonymous with 'K'. It irked me, to have to while away time stoning in bunk, seeing other coys book out. For FIVE full hours. To them, our time is probably worthless (we're paid the same whether we book out early or late anw).

And it's not just this once. This happens ALL the time. And they just add up, causing resentment, disillusionment and low morale. No prizes for guessing which is the most underperforming coy, with the most people on status, ATT C and chaogeng mentality.

I'm tired.

Farewell, old dame!

This past week has been pretty eventful.

After 4 days of outfield, numerous mosquito bites, and a golden (or rather, brown) tan, I think I've become more accustomed to the wilderness.

Well, having been through the crap (a grave understatement, I assure you) on Tuesday on behalf of someone who decided to chaogeng, in a position I am not trained and hence ill-prepared for, you'd think it can't get very much worse henceforth. As if. Next week is another 4-day outfield week, and there are lots more coming up.

I wonder how much longer I can hold out if they continue to subject me to such "generous" treatment. My back has already begun to ache from those n-hour manpack expeditions. And the other two signallers are already down; almost 1/3 of the coy is on some status, and more people are flocking to get ATT C on Mondays. But it appears it still hasn't dawned on them that there is a problem somewhere...

Anyway it was Zejia's birthday yesterday. Happy Birthday, Bro!!!

Had fun at the sing-along session at the National Stadium, you can read more about it on Zejia's blog. What a way to pay tribute to the Grand Old Dame, and bid her a fond farewell.

Not too long ago, we were slogging away building the grand stands for NDP, then marshalling, and finally witnessing the grand finale on National Day. But by National Day this year, she would be no more. Sad sia. Took quite a few pictures for keepsake.

Just a random thought. Singapore is realy small! Saw another signaller and his gf, as well as the PL5 people yesterday. It's almost impossible not to bump into someone familiar when you are along Orchard Road, or the City Hall-Suntec-Marina Square stretch. How pathetic right, like there's nowhere else to go. Which is partly the reason I want to go overseas for my studies. We all need to leave behind the well to embrace the skies, someday.

The track-by-track review of Stef's new album should be up by next week. It's a FANTABULOUS album! Zzyo has a nice review on his blog, so much better than the one in zaobao... He should start writing 乐评 for them lor.

Outfield

Had a 3D2N outfield this week, after relaxing for most of the past month. I guess I've lost touch with the feeling of being covered with grime, sweat, camou, and lugging the signal set around, because I felt really terrible.

At the end of the 3 days, we were supposed to bash our way back to camp (3km) but the sergeants who were leading us 'horlan'-ed (lost the way) and it eventually took 4 hours (6.30pm - 10.30pm) of trekking before we finally arrived. It was dark most of the way, but we stumbled (I mean it in the most literal sense coz I tripped n times) along, up hills and down slopes, through muddy and wet terrain, and all the while, I was carrying roughly 16kg (>25% of my weight, or rather, mass) of load. My shoulders and back ached, my breathing got heavier, but seldom did we stop to rest because we (or rather, the ones who weren't as exhausted coz they were carrying much lighter loads) wanted to reach camp asap. I didn't even have dinner because we were supposed to have it back in camp, but hunger cannot compare with the fatigue and frustration of getting lost in the vast wilderness.

The thought of "is this worth it?" crossed my mind for the umpteenth time. While many others are having a (relatively) cushy NS life, here I am, getting the same (or slightly more, or even less) pay, but doing so much more.

Then there are those who are excused from all the shit because they suffer from various (often self-proclaimed) ailments - the easiest way out. It's no surprise that an increasing (and alarming) number of people are trodding down that path, getting downgraded and all. Who's to blame? Wouldn't you want to do likewise when you see your fellow "comrades" sleeping in the bunk while you sweat it all out for nothing in return except for more taskings and reproval?

Enough groaning already, yes, I should learn to grow up, thank you. Anyway most of that negativity disappeared when I got back to camp, showered, and devoured a bowl of piping hot noodles at almost 2am after settling all the signal stores and cleaning arms. Pure bliss, that, I tell you, and the comfort of a bed with bedsheets that haven't been changed for 2 weeks.

That negativity would probably surface again when I next go outfield but for now, I am holding out, body aching and all. I know nothing is fair in this world, and I have been far more fortunate than most, so who am I to complain? Now if only the pimples that erupted all over my face after this icky outfield would disappear and I would be a happy man. =P

Signallers vs. AI Troopers

I think I did say before that signallers are quite slack. Now I must revoke that statement. At least for company line signallers, we can be more siong that AI troopers! The comparison will be quite generic in order not to divulge potentially sensitive info.

• The AI troopers bash with their weapons, we bash with signal set (>10kg) + weapon.
  
• They fight, we wait to be killed because we're vulnerable with the bulky signal set - hard to run, hide, prone and get up.
  
• Before outfield, we have to settle all the signal stores and make sure comms is up. After outfield, we have to settle all the signal stores. Troopers do help out with the OVM and stuff but there are so many of them working on their respective vehicles, and there are only the 3 of us working on the entire company's signal stores. We also have to help out with our vehicles!
  
• We have to clean arms like everyone else, and considering the strength of the HQ platoon and the number of weapons our platoon has to clean, we actually have more arms to clean per person.
• When there is no outfield, there is still signal store work to do every day. Most of the time we'll find the AI troopers "resting" in bunk while we are busy in the store, or doing admin work for our superiors.
  
• It's true they do more saigang but that's because HQ platoon is too small and fragmented (people of different vocations at different locations) to be relied on to do saigang. This does not mean we're immune from saigang. We did as much as everyone else during EX BZ...

Haiz, sad life lah.

Depressed

Argh... I am depressed. Coz my family has gone on vacation in Australia and I'm stuck in Singapore. Stuck at home, to be more precise, because the grace period does not allow me to venture too far. Pardon me, but this sucks.

I feel like a prisoner.

19

I turned 19 on Thursday, not that there's any great significance to it. I still can't watch R21 films, sign my own forms (the more impt ones...), or be looked upon as mature enough to do many many things, except probably, die serving my country. Anyway, thanks for all the well wishes.

Attend C

Had a terrible fever on Tuesday (39.9 degrees) but the "not-so-generous" (a euphemism...) MO only gave me 2 days attend C and 1 day attend B. My bunk mate's fever was only 37.6 degrees but he also got 2 days attend C (from another MO). So unfair... Then I heard that those people with fever >39 degrees usually get 3-5 days attend C so I was terribly upset coz my fever is like at the highest end of that spectrum? Anything above 40 degrees would have warranted a heli-evac... And it isn't a fantastic feeling waiting for >1 hour for your turn to see the MO when your whole body is literally burning.

Anyway I went to see my GP and he gave me another 2 days MC, so I don't have to book in anymore this week coz my company is booking out on Friday. You might think it's good to be able to slack for so many days but I'm actually missing out on IPPT Test, SOC Test, and a 16km Route March... Think I will have a hard time catching up when I go back. Sianz.

Spent

I love playing around with puns. I'm sure every one knows "spent" is the past tense of "spend", but besides my financial status, it also reflects my physical circumstance now. Thanks to someone... More on that later.

Went to celebrate my dad's birthday yesterday. Had the international buffet at Plaza Parkroyal hotel. There was the usual tempura, sashimi, shark's fin, desert, etc. etc. I loved the soft shell crab and chocolate fountain. Yum. I know it's very sinful, so I decided to go jogging today. Walked for 20min before I reached Woodlands Stadium, then proceeded to run 2.4km. My timing was atrocious, but it's ok lah, it has been about 5 months since I last ran. Anw it was a horrible mistake, coz I met up with aik joon and alvin later in the afternoon to shop for prom. Here's the route we took:

Orchard MRT -> Heeren -> Wisma -> Far East -> Break at BK @ Wheelock -> Taka -> Heeren (again) -> Centrepoint -> OG Orchard -> Somerset MRT -> Bugis Junction -> Tanjong Pagar MRT -> International Plaza -> Ulu shop near M Hotel.

We basically shopped from 1pm to almost 6.30pm, and aj estimated that we walked for >20km. And the best thing was that I was wearing "new" slippers which gave me blisters and added to the torment. Now my legs are hurting like mad. The culprit? Who else but Mr. Goh. He's so hard to please lah. Want nice design + nice price + nice everything, and of course, with such stringent criteria, nothing caught his eye throughout our 5-hour trek. Not very nice at all. Hello, 5 hours without getting anything? I'd imagine he will be the perfect bf for any girl who loves shopping. LOL. I'm sure he can match her stamina and endurance in shopping. Anw he finally declared that he would be getting something from Topshop @ Wisma (our 2nd stop, FYI) when we were at Bugis. Dots. That's why I gave him the title of "RDS" (rate-determining step), which I think he fully deserves. The same thing happened when we were shopping for V-day angel-mortal gifts. I remember commenting that he's harder to please than the person he's buying the gifts for. How very true. Now you know who to look for if you wanna go shopping... But the experience was quite fun lah, and I'm sure it helped to burn quite a few calories.

Anw I bought shoes at Bugis Junction, and blazer+matching pants at the ulu shop near M Hotel. Spent a grand total of $123, which I am pretty pleased about, considering that the cheapest blazer we could find in Orchard was $109, and a long-sleeve shirt from Topshop easily costs $69. Plus I'm sure the blazer, pants, and shoes can be put to some sort of use in the future.

After that, there was 4A03 class outing. Didn't have dinner with them at Pizzahut coz we were quite broke, but we met up later. Seems like most people haven't changed much. And we sang our good-for-any-occasion (just insert appropriate lyrics) class song for Peng Siang coz his bdae was yesterday. LOL. Left early with mingjian and alvin coz I was really too tired and wasn't in the condition to entertain the idea of a drinking session. Shall spend tml and Wednesday resting at home.

Why I hate to lend people CDs

Before I go into the crux of this post, let me just say that the previous post was meant to address the "concerns" of some people. It wasn't meant to be emotional (感性) or anything, or that kind of "I-am-coming-to-terms-with-my-feelings-so-yeah" post. Actually it's a really lengthy way of saying "I was playing a game with you, tried to stop but couldn't help it; I'm really okay" kinda thing. Yep. Hope that clears up some misinterpretations.

Yup on to the main thing I want to clarify once and for all. I believe many of you know that I usually turn down offers to borrow my CDs. It's not because I'm selfish, stingy, or anything. It's basically because:

1. CDs that are loaned out seldom return in the pristine condition they were originally in. I'm quite anal about such stuff, so I hate it when others borrow my CDs and get it all scratched as if they had used it as a coaster. The condition of the JJ CDs I recently lent out to a couple of pple proves my point. Or KC's Beyond CD, which is literally "in tatters". Or Aik's Linkin Park CD that was never returned (which reminds me of my LOTR book as well).
2. I'm against piracy, especially when it comes to my idols' albums. I'd rather not listen to the music than download it off some illegal websites, or kope the CD from someone who has the original copy, or worse still, burnt copy. You can have a million good reasons as to "why", but I just need one good reason (or probably 2) to tell you "why not" - it's illegal and if no one's gonna support the originals, then there won't be any more good music. Don't complain that you have no money or aren't as rich as I am. Just dota less, K less, watch less movies, eat less expensive meals, etc. and you'll have ample money to buy one CD every month, which is what I do.

So if you're the kind who download 1 million songs and just buy one original album once in a blue, blue moon, don't bother asking me to lend you any CDs. There's a good chance I'd turn you down. I am not trying - and am in no position - to chastise you for the way you want to lead your life, but I just feel obliged to tell you that I don't agree with you. Also let me just say that I don't give it a damn if you say (or think) that I am a selfish bastard.

An Imperfect Day

Haiz have to blame Aik Joon n Jinny, made me pre-order stef's new album at that ulu shop. That guy cheated me lah. The SG version also has the CD-rom and even a $20 Party World voucher, which means that I am paying >$10 additional to get some lousy stickers with the TW version. He had the cheek to tell me that SG version confirm no freebies. Dots. Now have to wait until next Monday then can get the CD, and have to go all the way to that ulu place again. I would have bought the SG version on Friday. Argh!

Anw Stef's new songs are pretty decent. A Perfect Day is actually quite mediocre, I think they made it the first hit mainly for the advertising potential. First Day is the PERFECT hit for me - composed by F.I.R. and Mayday, performed by Stef n can hear Ashin n Faye harmonising in the background! Catchy melody(composed jointly by FIR.ST DAY), Mayday-style wacky lyrics + Lotsa attitude + Funny MV. Oh man, if only there's JJ and you get all my fav mandopop artistes collaborating on one song.

Don't ask me to lend you Stef's newest CD, I will NOT lend any of my idol's CDs to anyone except for that rare few lucky ones who catch me on a good day. I bet most of you would have downloaded it before I get the CD on next Monday anw (right, zzyo? =P). Must support original! Just eat less, or DOTA less, and you will have money.