Do you (really) know what you want?

Scholarship season is coming to an end, and interviews for the more competitive NUS faculties (i.e. medicine, dentistry, law, etc.) have officially begun. So, what have you applied for? I hear lots of "MEDICINE!" and xxx or yyy scholarship. But have you really considered if those are what you really want? Or are you applying because everyone else is and being the kiasu Singaporean, you don't wish to lose out; or because other people (like your parents, relatives or friends) expect you to?

I must say I have seen a lot of such people, and am tempted to put that tag on a lot more people, because from what I can observe, and my conversations with them, it is apparent that they haven't put much thought into a decision that's going to affect the rest of their future.

I asked many people who applied for the A*STAR scholarship, "Have you tried research? Are you sure you would enjoy it?" (because I know many people who got turned off by research after SRP, including yours truly), and the most common answer I've heard is "No" and "It seems interesting and there's no harm trying". I seriously wonder if they are trying to convince me or themselves. Ditto for other scholarships/medicine. I doubt many people know what doing medicine entails. Or the life of a medicine student. Have they bothered to ask seniors? To do research? Or is the "Dr." title before their names, and the dollar signs all that they are dreaming about? How about our teachers-to-be? Have they even talked to their teachers about the profession? The list goes on, and only you/they can answer these questions.

If you ask me, I still do not clearly know what I want, but I am pretty sure about what I don't. No A*STAR (research), no DSTA, no dentistry, no medicine, no teaching. So what if the whole world is applying? So what if it's easy to get? So what if eventually, I get rejected by all the scholarships (btw I still have a few more interviews to go, so wish me luck!) and end up in NUS (which isn't that bad after all), in a less prestigious faculty? I do admit I will be jealous of those who get to go overseas (jealousy never dies, isn't it), but only for their study term. Thereafter, when they return to serve their bond, I would be relieved that I didn't make the same decision, because I know I wouldn't be happy with the job.

Perhaps it's too early to say. Perhaps not. Just look at your own teachers, many of whom are scholars. How many of them are truly passionate about teaching? How many are counting down to the end of their bonds? How many have left their schools to do other stuff at MOE? How many young lawyers have left the Bar in recent years? How many scholars end up breaking their bonds, or at least seriously contemplated that option?

Do you (really) know what you want?