Pretentiousness

I must admit my last post was a little pretentious. It's so obviously (trying to be) nostalgic, but also palpably insincere. Just like a lot of people, I mean, the insincere part. Some people are so fake, you totally despise them. But you end up "faking" with them coz it's the polite thing to do, but it's inevitably tiring, trying to keep up the pretence in their presence.

If you find that you have to put on an elaborate mask in front of someone, to portray yourself as someone you are not, then it's pathetic, for you, as well as the other party. I must admit I am guilty at times, but with no ill intentions or ulterior motives. But some people are so unashamedly plastic, they can still smile at you and claim to be your best friend after they've just put a dagger through your heart. If you watch Da Chang Jin, Ah Lie is the embodiment of such master fakos.

Many people say that your BMT friends are those you keep forever, but I beg to differ. In retrospect, it's difficult for genuine friendships to be forged when you dunno (save for a few real buddies) whether the person next to you is being truly nice or just so he can get into command school. With all that wayanging, backstabbing and all, it was a pretty good simulation of how life might be like in the working world - full of scheming and pretentious people.

Of course, I concede that "full" is too much of an overstatement, but it appears so to less discerning eyes like mine - I have difficulty judging who's real and who's fake, sometimes. It's just like the chinese proverb "after you've been bitten by a snake, you become afraid of anything that resembles a snake" (loosely translated).

Which makes me miss the good old school days, when friendships are just that, innocent and with no strings attached. There is no worry that people are befriending you simply because they want to use you as a stepping stone. But it was also in school that I was most brutally backstabbed, except that that was an isolated incident, and in the end I emerged scarred but also wiser. So, I guess it isn't so bad after all considering I've been through 12 years of formal education, making more friends than enemies along the way.

Lately I've been wondering if a platoon mate of mine is "too nice", but I think I am just paranoid. Now if only 猪八戒 can lend me his 照妖镜.