Forgive and Forget

It's never easy to forgive and forget. I'm not one who bears grudges, but when someone does something to hurt a cherished friendship, either intentionally or unintentionally, I can't treat him/her like it never happened, and go back to the past again. It just doesn't feel the same anymore when you see that person after knowing what he/she has done, even if at the surface (as perceived by others), we remain good friends and all. However, between ourselves, the sense of "lost camaraderie" may be more apparent, though unspoken, and the friend -ship degenerates henceforth, and sinks into oblivion as time passes.

I'm not talking about the usual disagreements that are inevitable between even the best of friends, but more subtle things, like backstabbing, bad-mouthing behind your back, hypocrisy, etc. etc. Things that people do even as they pretend to be your (good) friend, and things that people do which subliminally reveal themselves as friends less worthy than you'd imagined. Some of these are actually inherent character traits which they do not display conspicuously or knowingly in their everyday dealings, but as you get to know them better, it becomes increasingly obvious that you cannot be bosom friends with them because of who they really are. It's immensely disappointing, esp. after all that you have invested in that friendship, but certain things really can't be helped.

Perhaps I am being a little sanctimonious or judgemental here (writing about backstabbing and stuff), because I know that I myself am guilty of some of these things, and for that, I offer no excuses. I apologise, but I do not seek forgiveness, for I know forgiveness is never easily given, unless, of course, if you are a saint, which I doubt many of us would claim to be.

Actually I have been meaning to say all these for a long time, but I still lack the resolve to spell out the people who prompted this "outburst". I'm not sure if they(yes, there are more than one) know who they are, but the main reason I haven't really named names is because I still hope to salvage the friendships. It's never easy to forgive and forget, but I'm trying.