I don't understand myself

To clarify things a bit, I'm not angry (at anyone or anything), pissed or moody, although I have been unable to convince people about this, simply by refusing to talk. Must there be a reason for not wanting to talk? I dunno, maybe I don't even know what's going on in my brain, but I just didn't feel like talking. I'm really fine, if you still aren't convinced.

I was a little pissed initially, but that was way below the threshold I could take. It takes a smash (literally, with a foolscap pad or something) on my head to cross that threshold. Or backstabbing. Or accusing me of something I didn't do. Or breaking a promise made previously. I wasn't offended by the sarcasm and jokes either, seriously. Not so easy. I'm so used to them, and they originate from me too, none too often.

I just wanted to shut myself off, and there was no turning back after a while. The "silent game" became too "fun" to abandon, and I just couldn't pull myself away. No, I don't think it's a mood swing, or anything you thought I was going through. I wasn't feeling particularly angry, sad, melancholic, depressed, yada yada. It's simply that - not wanting to talk. They were trying to coax me to say something, and I was really "tempted" at many points (especially given their acute and apparent exasperation), but somehow, something just got the better of me. I am quite amazed myself at the ease with which I suppressed the urge to talk. It somehow seemed easier to fork out money to treat someone to lunch (though they eventually returned me the money..).

Perhaps it's the inherent autism flowing in my veins, or someone - or something - was tempering with my "emotions". I'm going to stop short of apologising to these people, but I want to thank them for tolerating those moments of silence, and trying so hard to find out what they had "done wrong". Nope, nobody did anything wrong. Really.

Ignore this post if you have absolutely no idea what I'm talking about.